After installing "the presence package"
I think I become smarter
I started to notice some big side benefits of being present. If I describe myself as a computer, it feels like my RAM has been freed up after using CleanMyMac. Speaking in human language, it’s like a lot of constant computation for worries and decision-making processes have been cleaned up, allowing me to do more things I could not do before.
For instance, when I realized I could not finish my work yesterday, I was initially thinking, “Hmm…Should I still go to the hackathon tomorrow? Because I might need to work on weekends, but I really want to go. If I still go, will I be burnt out though……?” The old Esther might have been troubled by the thought and pondering on the decision, ending up feeling too tired to do anything. However, due to my consistent practice of being present, I let it go and practiced leaning into the present. In the end, I even read a difficult book on the history of computers and still went to the hackathon with good energy.
How do I practice it?
Delete my entire brain storage: I delete all the things that create a lot of decision-making and worrying. For me, it’s relationships (e.g., scheduling with people, handling relationship expectations…) I did it by deleting all my social media during Christmas. Even more important online communication (e.g. linkedin, emails, blog writing), I set my usage time from 8-9 pm only. So I can free as much space as possible in my mind.
Install a new system called the “present” package: Since no one can reach me, I don’t have plans anymore. Therefore, I don’t need to choose anymore. Being alone, I don’t need to talk and interact with people, so I spend most of my time practicing being present.
Gradually install some other systems back into brain storage: I start to slowly expand my life activities and practice being present slowly but surely.
Well…it happened more naturally for sure, but I think this is an easy conceptual representation of it.
And I start to notice that I’m becoming smarter. I can get into the flow state easily, focus better, feel happier, and be more patient. Strangely, I’m able to start learning things that are much more difficult, and can learn much more without feeling tired. I think it’s because a lot of mind space has been freed up from future planning and anxiety for uncertainty.
In technology, humans can start doing lots of complicated computations because of bigger memory and more computational power. That’s why we can finally do AI today. And today, a lot of my imagination starts to unlock too. Some of my life assumptions might be soon invalidated. For instance,
I don’t have energy to learn hardcore knowledge when I have to work.
I can never put my passion as a side project because I’m too tired after work.
I don’t know how much computational power I gain by being present, but I feel so curious to experiment with this new power inside me.