All I have is ...

One thing that I have but my friends don't

A few days ago, I called my friend in Taiwan who was in the same business class with me. She told me that she is moving to a new place because her partner recently bought a house that they furnished together.

Holy cow! A new house? She already has a decent job, a long-term stable partner, an adorable cat, and now they have a house? She has all the things I don’t have. I think the only thing that I have but she doesn’t have is …

Debt??? (I find it very hilarious haha)

All I have is some debt and an endless drive for my vision. I told her about my jobless status and goals to transition to full-stack engineering because of early career exploration and the potential AI replacement of data scientists. She was impressed. She said, “Yeah! I don’t know when AI will replace my job, but I’m just hanging in here.”

As I unfolded my life for the past few months, I realized what I already considered as a new normal — stress and learning new skills — isn’t a simple job at all. I’m accustomed to my daily life and thoughts now that I haven’t noticed that my pivot of life, similar to the pivot of a company, comes with lots of pain, perseverance, and consistency. A consistent practice of moving towards an unknown direction.

The funniest thing is, when I told her I don’t know about finding a job in the current state, she responded in the most nonchalant way, no empathy at all.

“Of course. You just started,” she said.

I laughed, “You are the most careless person for my situation!”

She said, “Haha you are the friend at the top of my admirable list. Why would I worry?”

I found a lot of faith in her words. In a narrow framing of life, everything can feel unmanageable and uncertain. However, when zooming out, I realize most things are more than fine. I just need to give myself more time to grow and flourish.

So the next day I go back to work energetically, and start another small progress today.