Calling HR
Are we actually in the 21st century?
Today, I was invited to our school to meet a group of Chinese people because one of them is a master’s student. I was relaxed, thinking they were just a group of Chinese people passionate about education, and that I could connect and network with them.
But then I realized I was completely wrong.
When I asked about education investment in China, I was told I was being "cynical," which I didn’t understand.
Worst of all, he asked me in front of all the Chinese people about my political leaning while the others were rooting for the pro-China party. As the only Taiwanese person there, of course, I wasn’t comfortable. I found it super inappropriate to talk about this in a professional setting. Another man said to him, “She will not tell you,” but he insisted that I would. He asked again in front of everyone.
I avoided the question, and then I faced more random personal attacks.
“Why do you have so many stereotypes against China?” (but his English was so bad that he said “prototype” instead of “stereotypes”).
Then he followed up with, “So what Chinese cities have you been to?”
“Shanghai,” I responded.
“ONLY Shanghai?” he said.
“And x, y, z…” I added.
“That’s better.”
Am I supposed to visit many Chinese cities? Why?
I didn’t argue, but I was angry, so I left. I was also in shock because it had been a long time since I had met someone so rude, disrespectful, and insensitive about cultural and political differences.
I don’t know if it’s because of patriarchy or nationality, but there shouldn’t be any reason to treat another human terribly like this.
Well, my Chinese friend only got slightly better treatment. When some man asked her about her age, he told her he was similar to her dad’s age, so she could call him “uncle.” She was like… wtf?! Who will call you uncle at a networking event?
All of a sudden, I realized that the tech community in San Francisco has now become such a haven of equality. We would definitely call HR if any of this happened at work. Cornering someone in public with politics, personal attacks, and displaying patriarchy—is that the actual world we are living in? Is this really the 21st century?
Worst of all, this person is not an uneducated rural farmer. He works in several of the biggest education companies in China. He attended many innovative educational schools and top U.S. schools too. He is supposed to be open-minded and educated. How could someone who cares about education attack others like this? I was shocked.
Afterwards, our initial anger and shock disappeared, replaced by disbelief at how the real world actually looks. If someone can feel so comfortable attacking others like this, it means that the environment either allows it or maybe even encourages it. What kind of environment is that?
I don’t know if nationalism and patriarchy are the reasons, but all of a sudden, I realized I’m so naive about the real world I’m living in.
On the surface, it seems like a personal attack, but honestly, if you ask me to use one word to describe this person, I’d say “uneducated.” It’s a lack of cultural and situational awareness and basic respect for other humans—any humans.
As humans, we always have conflicting values and perspectives. It’s respect, empathy, and awareness that unite us, but this kind of experience will set us apart, creating more conflicts personally and internationally.
I can resonate with your experience, eventhough I of course wish, that this had never happened to you. I live in Kaohsiung for the second year now as an international student and due to travels to Japan and Shanghai have encountered people from mainland China. Eventhough I do not look like a Taiwanese, I was frequently and not greacefully made aware of the fact that I had made the wrong choice of university and that I'd better come to Shanghai for instance.
I feel at home in Taiwan and very much appreciate the friendly and respectful way people are treated here. I sense that some of these behavioural differences, mixed with a complicated political situation gives rise to negative instances. It is sad to see oppressors behave like bullies towards a whole country they have no reason to be hostile against.
I feel sorry for you having to receive the last comment, but at least I find it perfectly proves the point you were trying to make in the article: Taiwanese are sensitive, in the best way and that means that they have no buisness pushing others around, which should not be mistaken for weakness. Not all mainland Chinese are the same, there is no doubt about that, but it should not be tolerated that an agressor treats the other party like this on an international ground. Imagine it was a Russian and a Ukrainian citizen. The Russian would quickly find himself bickering in jail...
“When I asked about education investment in China, I was told I was being "cynical," which I didn’t understand.” You didn’t provide any specific context about what exactly you asked, and then you framed other people as attacking you. That’s how you lost credibility when you tried to play victims. There is no doubt certain mainland Chinese students are passionate about one China, which is not the same value you hold up to, but that doesn’t give you any legitimacy to attack them through your blogs and sugarcoat your political naivety either. If you want us to believe that all mainland people are rude and disrespectful, you just proved the other side. Taiwanese are so sensitive and so cynical, as they called you.