Do things that you suck

Find new learning opportunities

I’ve been honing my software skills and confidence for some time now, and lately, I feel like I'm actually getting pretty good.

When my friends ask me, "How long does it take you to build app X?" and I confidently respond, "Two hours!" it's not about intelligence but consistent practice.

That confidence took a hit when I was asked to live code in TypeScript.

Initially, I thought, "How hard could it be? I've been doing similar things for ages!" But during a mock interview with a friend, I realized just how uncomfortable and inadequate I felt with the syntax. I felt like a kindergartener struggling to spell English words!

The disbelief and avoidance kicked in hard. I questioned why I had to subject myself to these standard interviews that seemed incapable of gauging my true abilities. I felt embarrassed and terrified of failing. I wanted to retreat to my comfort zone of building software where I could impress people. I craved that sense of identity in engineering again.

Yet, ironically, the part where I struggle the most is likely where I have the most room for growth.

I recalled my piano lessons; the best progress came from playing the toughest parts rather than repeating what I already mastered. It's uncomfortable to face our weaknesses, but that's where the real learning happens.

What's the point of learning if I stick to what I already know?

We fear failure because of the shame and judgment it brings, but it's also what propels us forward, pushing us to evolve. Instead of avoiding failure, I want to embrace it, to experiment and play.

I encourage Esther to separate the fear of failure from the act of learning. Fear is an emotion, while learning is a tangible action.

I encourage Esther to put more effort into the things you struggle with. Let's tackle the challenges head-on. Every stumble is an opportunity to learn and improve.

I encourage Esther to let go of worrying about how others perceive your performance. We're beginners on this journey, and it's natural to stumble. Don't buy into others' “I’m the best” attitude; instead, stay humble, stay hungry, and stay curious.

It's a simple lesson I remind myself of daily. Weirdo friends, feel free to encourage yourself today too!