Finding peace in storms

Solution = Statistic

I realized the ultimate way to find peace during turbulent times is through statistics. Yes, weird as it sounds, it’s statistics. What does statistics mean?

Intentional practice provides experiences, while experiences give us feedback, and feedback helps us adjust for the next practice. All the data points are merely statistics.

Statistics for my emotions

Peace, essentially, is an internal force that can be independent of external circumstances. For my own emotions, I gradually learned that adequate data points lead to prediction. Though prediction does not diminish the fear and pain inside me, it regulates it pretty well. For instance, nowadays I know that every Tuesday afternoon is the hardest time of the week somehow, and I accept it rather than running around, trying to find a way to “solve” my problem. Because I also know it will naturally disappear after my dance practice in the evening.

I started to learn my own cycle, “my tear cycle,” or “my fear cycle,” and learn the best practices for them,e.g., when to stop myself or when to allow myself to release the emotion. For instance, I know that I can allow myself to release whatever emotions today’s evening because tomorrow morning I will go exercise and change my emotions. I know exactly when to ask myself to stop to prevent sinking into an unhealthy emotional state.

At one point, when I was injured by the same person again, I realized

As I see through the same bullshit, I cannot help but laugh. As a problem-solving-oriented person, as I see through the problems, I lose interest, and so do positive and negative emotions in them.

Statistics for decision-making in life

Another important statistic is how I approach decision-making in life. Big or small, we have all been through my life crisis. The situations are different, but my major decision-making criteria haven’t changed much.

For instance, I know that I will ask a lot of people for help and suggestions, but essentially don’t give a fxxk to their suggestions and make my own decision. For me, people who say “it’s impossible” are always considered “noise” in the end, so I only need to listen to those who find me a way as “signals.” And I know who are noise and who are signals already. Family is often noisy; my friend Lee and nowadays Phuong are signals. The rest of the people who don’t know me well are noise. So when people tell me your life is fxxk up, and you should do x,y,z. I usually agree and panic for 2 seconds but when I turn around, I do different things. hahaha

I’m not saying that their suggestions are bad or wrong; they just don’t fit into my shoes and how I function. How I function is supported by a huge amount of empirical evidence of me in the past, discounting more on distant history for better Bayesian inference.

This empirical evidence, no matter values, emotions, rationality, conviction, or vision, melts in me as an instinct.

Life is complicated as it is, but it is also as simple as the clarity inside me.

“You are exactly where you need to be.”

That’s all for today.