Hunting rejection
So scary but so fun!
Inspired by "What I learned from 100 days of rejection," my friend and I started a rejection experiment to practice the courage of being rejected. Here is our crazy list of requests to strangers on the street.
Can you write a poem on the importance of patting your eyebrows? Make it beautiful, and at least five lines long.
Can you buy me the hat over there?
Can you orchestrate a Christmas coral and find an extra three people to sing with us?
Can you buy us an ice cream?
Can you give me style advice on my clothes?
Can you invest me in my project?
Can you teach me how to do the Taylor series?
I lost my airpod at the right ear. Can you give me your right ear airpod?
Can you buy me the hat over there?
Initially, I was super duper nervous, and we mostly approach men who look mean to increase the rate of being rejected. First, I approached one guy and asked, “Can you buy me the hat over there?” And then he said affirmatively,
I was too nervous to even respond and ran away. I learned that asking people to pay is very hard for me.
But I admire how straightforward he can say no to others, I usually make lots of excuses.
Can you write a poem on the importance of patting your eyebrows? Make it beautiful, and at least five lines long.
My friend approached two strangers and asked them if they could "write a poem on the importance of patting your eyebrows." Surprisingly, they said yes to our ridiculous request, and we got this poem.
I guess they found this intriguing.
Can you orchestrate a Christmas coral and find an extra three people to sing with us?
The person my friend talked to completely freaked out and ran away, while his friends, laughing, were trying to push him to say yes. I learned that this experiment is really about who can stand the awkwardness more. But whether it’s a group or individual setting, where we give the request, if people are walking or waiting… all these tiny details matter so much!
Because when I asked people on the open street, they treated me like a salesperson and didn’t even want to listen. When I approached them in the building, they would at least stop and listen!
Can you buy us an ice cream?
“Can you buy us an ice cream?” I asked a stranger with earphones on him.
He thought for a second and said, “Sure. Why not?”
I was amazed, and then he followed up with two of us and asked, “Only one?”
Now, I got confused; why did anyone say yes and even want to buy more?
“Because I’m special!” he responded.
I learned that self-perception and maybe even the perception of others (because we are two harmless girls) were doing some magic here.
Rejection rate
In the end, our rejection rate is 62.5%! To be honest, given our ridiculous requests, this is pretty low (?)
Yes
Can you write a poem on the importance of patting your eyebrows? Make it beautiful, and at least five lines long.
Can you buy us an ice cream?
Can you give me style advice on my clothes?
No
Can you buy me the hat over there?
Can you orchestrate a Christmas coral and find an extra three people to sing with us?
Can you invest me in my project?
Can you teach me how to do the Taylor series?
I lost my airpod at the right ear. Can you give me your right ear airpod?
What I learn
Some of the requests (e.g., non-monetary) are definitely much easier for me to ask than others based on how I perceive their value of them. For instance, the act of service usually feels easier to ask for, but an expensive monetary gift is difficult (e.g., asking for AirPods).
Breaking social rules sets me free and unlocks lots of creative ideas. Now, I feel more comfortable to ask and think, “It doesn’t hurt to ask. At most, a no.” If I dare to ask people to pat their eyebrows, what other ideas can I invite people to join next time?
Many subtle social factors, such as age, dressing, gender, individual/group setting, speaking tone, and the existence of a relationship, affect both of our decision-making. I bet if I am an old man and dressed like a homeless person, the rejection rate will be much higher.
I desensitized myself from the fear of rejection quickly after the practice. After I got the affirmative first rejection, the rest of the practice became really easy to the point that I found it a bit boring in the end. I want to bring that comfort into my daily life too.
Next steps
I really want to encourage myself to apply this mindset to different dimensions in my real life! What other ideas I can tryyyyyy?
Note: I want to give special thanks to my friend, Svitlana. She is the only few people in my life who can be as crazy, silly, and playful to say yes to this rejection experiment!