I got fired

Before it even started

“Sorry, I don’t think we can work well together, so we decided to take back the offer.”

After last week we finished our entire negotiation and happily settled down on one, right on Monday morning I arrived in the office, my founder told me in the meeting room.

I tried to argue that I still would love to work things out (See: Madly in Love, Madly in Pain), but he simply replied, “The decision is already final.”

Do you know what was my first reaction after the meeting?

I went back to work. I felt…weirdly determined. Honestly, I think I might be crazy. I didn’t cry, didn’t run out of the office, but went straight back to work. Because at that moment, the only thing I was thinking was, “No one can stop my passion. Nothing from the external world can, even if you fire me.” At that moment, a weirdly peaceful and determined energy flows inside me.

There is a Manderin idiom called, 泰山崩於前而面不改色 (Mount Tai collapses in front of you, yet you expression remains unchanged). And that’s how I reacted to it.

Well, for sure, I still cried today because I didn’t know striving for my passion was that difficult that there would be so many roadblocks on my way. Even though finding a job now is hard, but I find it even harder to find “the job.” How can I find a place where I have the same amount of passion but with admirable leaders that I want to work with?

I know when life ripped something from you brutally, usually meant that they expected more growth and there would be something even better preparing for you. However, I found myself work really really hard from all dimensions in my life in the past 6 months already. I have grown a lot already, but why isn’t it enough? Isn’t this already the closest path I can get to my great work? I cannot help but wonder.

Thank you my weirdo friends for listening to how lost I am today.