Pain from both sides

For those who hurt, and those who are hurt

Recently, I met a new friend whose kindness shines through her every action. However, she’s been deeply hurt, as she’s still learning how to establish boundaries to protect that kindness.

She shared with me stories of someone who had caused her great pain, a someone from her past who still lingers in her thoughts. As she spoke, I could see the rawness of her hurt, the way it clung to her words. Though she claimed she no longer cared about the relationship, I could sense the love that still flickered within her pain. She has given so much of herself—in the past through care, and in the presence through pain.

Pain is another form of her love.

Listening to her, my heart ached not only for her but also for the one who wounded her.

I knew my friend’s pain was real, for I had walked the same path, feeling the sting of indifference and the sharp edge of avoidance. It’s as if their actions cut deep, and they twisted the blade. I understand her anguish because I’ve been there. And I might still be there now.

But, I also felt pain for the person who hurt her. I felt the heavy burden they bear—the loneliness, the fear, the mistrust that has scarred them. They, too, have been hurt. I feel their pain, trapped in a prison of their own making, yearning to break free but unable to. They might have a even long time to suffer from their burden, and all the harm they’ve created.

I don’t know what to do, so I gave both of them a big warm hug in my mind.